i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i think we sleep fucked last night...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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