Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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