Your face is a jimmy john
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
