Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
