you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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