I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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