U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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