I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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