please come you make the beer taste better
what day is it and did you see me today?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
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You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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