Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am