Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  "We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could. (773): "We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible. (773): I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive. http://tfl.nu/kn2s
  Replies (21) Good night (632) Bad night (1389)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  well that was a long night...

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): well that was a long night... (609): dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened? (908): no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on http://tfl.nu/y1mz
  Replies (11) Good night (3128) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave. http://tfl.nu/cgpg
  Replies (46) Good night (676) Bad night (9449)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he looks like a really good dad on facebook

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): he looks like a really good dad on facebook http://tfl.nu/pzsa
  Replies (5) Good night (663) Bad night (3568) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory. http://tfl.nu/jr9q
  Replies (7) Good night (1069) Bad night (3535) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself. http://tfl.nu/hfdh
  Replies (12) Good night (830) Bad night (7012)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes

  (905): View more from Ontario

  You're fat. Stop making excuses

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes (905): You're fat. Stop making excuses http://tfl.nu/rdmk
  Replies (70) Good night (13020) Bad night (5283)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there http://tfl.nu/wgp9
  Replies (2) Good night (935) Bad night (1798) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13. http://tfl.nu/mb7j
  Replies (13) Good night (8159) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock... http://tfl.nu/p7g4
  Replies (8) Good night (1537) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he was once again the drunkest girl at the party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): he was once again the drunkest girl at the party http://tfl.nu/18ag
  Replies (4) Good night (1954) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people. http://tfl.nu/tw6k
  Replies (3) Good night (1284) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother. http://tfl.nu/ow2i
  Replies (8) Good night (1389) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Is she still in your room?

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Is she still in your room? (1-978): Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature. http://tfl.nu/vxhf
  Replies (8) Good night (1812) Bad night (366) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?

  (319): View more from Iowa

  will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me? (319): will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls? http://tfl.nu/9asz
  Replies (3) Good night (254) Bad night (784)

Randomize