i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.