ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
someone get that fucking seahorse.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.