God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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