come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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