we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
