It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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