Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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