How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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