Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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