shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
