yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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