i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She announced her abortion via fbk
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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