dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
