paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
