There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
