How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
