Got a toothbrush?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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