But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize