Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize