I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
