Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
