And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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