im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
