whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
