also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
