You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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