sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
