watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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