Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Come share oat with me in your robe
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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