Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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