something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
