How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
