Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
