I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
