i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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