TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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