Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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