Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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