oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
