Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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