He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize