Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
