piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
