I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
