the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize