Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
